"I was going for 'mysterious in the woods,' but my selfie just says 'blurry monster.'"
Runners-up:
"You ever try typing with these thumbs? Autocorrect is a nightmare."
"I tried to join Bigfoot's social network, but it's pretty exclusive."
"You too? I can't get past level 3 on Snowball Frenzy."
Honestly, alternative 1 speaks to my own aversion to use my phone for any serious work.
ugh to the all. Maybe #1 but only to make nice with Andrew.